For Real, How Many Times Per Week is it Normal to Freak Out/Cry/Scream When you Look at your Student Loans That You are About to Start Having to Pay Off?
Ten times per week?
Fifty?
Please, let me know.
I'm asking for a friend...
In all seriousness, once those loans start looming it gets pretty scary for a recent college grad. It makes me wonder if maybe getting a degree in Creative Writing wasn't the best idea, or if I needed college at all.
It makes me wonder if living like Jack Kerouac, traveling America on trains and making friends along the way and drinking too much and sleeping under the stars wouldn't be all that bad.
And honestly, when I write it like that it makes the whole Jack Kerouac life sound even more enticing.
But my life isn't that bad. Even if I just write it how it is: I'm 27-years-old and I just got a job in property management. This job gives me half-off rent if I live on-site, which would be Loring Park in Downtown Minneapolis. So I'm moving downtown, where I've wanted to live for years, and paying virtually nothing for rent. Also, I'm writing on the side and trying to find freelance jobs and steady part time writing work.
It's not so bad, I know. I'm privileged even. But those loans, man. 55K. Seriously.
It makes me wonder if it was all worth it.
But then I think, I'm only wondering this when I look at the number. That big, ugly, glaring, ominous number that I imagine has sharp teeth and looks like a combination of this and this (don't click on these if you are creeped out by insects and weird looking fish).
And the rest of the time, when I think about the friends I made, the memories that were had, and what I learned about life, myself, and the outside world, I realize that it was absolutely worth it.
I know what was just said is kind of cheesy. But that's okay, sometimes I'm cheesy but I promise it comes out of earnestness. Also, I think that is the first time I used "earnestness" in a sentence and, honestly, I feel pretty great about it.
But it does, it comes full circle. I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today if it weren't for my decision to go to college and take out some student loans. Yeah, I'm at low-paying entry level job (with great perks, though), and yeah the student loans are looming, but I'll make it through, somehow. If I have to crash on couches, move back in with the mom, whatever, I'll make it and I wouldn't trade memories/friends/experiences for anything, even though sometimes it seems like it would be worth it to trade them for getting out of student loan debt.
I'll get by, and new opportunities will open up, and I'll find a new, better paying job where paying off my loans won't be as big of a deal.
And so will you.
I promise.
And yes, this might be overly positive and cheesy, but this is the stuff I need to tell myself, and maybe this is the stuff that you need to tell yourself. If it works it works, right?
In the words of Dwayne from Little Miss Sunshine, "You do what you love, and fuck the rest."
Live smart, yes. Live responsibly, yes. Learn how to be smart financially, yes. But don't let anything stop you from chasing what you love.
